Suck it, Insomnia

A few of us have been succumbing to insomnia lately.  Clearly, this is just one of April’s many nasty antics.  I’ve tried everything: exercising before bed, not exercising before bed, warm milk, warm herbal tea, cold water, benadrylmeditation, TV, reading really boring literature. No dice.

So, here we are in the home stretch of The Demon Month, and I’m still having trouble feeling rested.  And let me tell you in no uncertain terms: it SUCKS.

Until you’ve had the experience of trying to complete some task – washing the dishes, doing homework, folding laundry, standing up – and then realizing that you’ve just been staring into thin air for a solid 30 seconds, you haven’t known the bitter confusion of sleep deprivation. Oh, how I enjoy that precious experience.   <– Sarcasm

BUT, there may be hope. My astounding friend Liz has given me a *wonderful* idea for combating the insomnia horrors and it is called: The Hot Toddy. But with a little update, and therefore I entitle it: The Sleep Potion.

I will share this sacred ritual with you now.

First, you must obtain some whiskey. This step is crucial.  I had not previously purchased hard liquor in my life (whatever), so I had some fun looking at all the pretty shiny bottles at the store (shiny!).  Evan Williams is what Liz suggested, since it’s inexpensive but drinkable.  Any of the higher-quality varieties would certainly serve you well. Or better.

Did you obtain some whiskey?  The whiskey is important. The internets tell me that rum and brandy are also excellent options.

Okay.  Now.  Once you have the delectable nectar, here’s what you add to it.

Traditional Hot Toddies run something like this:

Make hot water happen in a mug.

Add to this mug a squeeze of lemon (maybe a quarter of a whole lemon) and some honey.

At this point, different recipes tell you to add different things: cinnamon and cloves, black tea, etc.

However, if you want to make The Sleep Potion, chamomile tea is the way to go.

Once a mug with hot water, chamomile, honey, and lemon has occurred and rests pleasingly on your counter, retrieve the liquor!  One shot… two shots… a third of the bottle… you decide.

Final step: IMBIBE.

It didn’t put me right to sleep but WOW was I zero restless when I laid down. Highly recommended. Snooze well.


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