The Election of 2016

With apologies to Lin-Manuel Miranda.
Format flagrantly copied from:
http://genius.com/Lin-manuel-miranda-the-election-of-1800-lyrics

[FULL COMPANY]
The election of 2016…

[HILLARY]
Can we wrap up the politics?

[KAINE]
Please?

[HILLARY]
Yo. Ev’ry action has an equal, opposite reaction
Well Bernie found his base, but lacked my super delegate traction

Poor moderate republicans, they are missing in action
So now I’m facing-

[HILLARY AND KAINE]
Donald Trump?!

[HILLARY]
With his own faction?

[KAINE]
He’s very attractive to The Bern’d. Dissatisfaction’s rampant.

[HILLARY]
He’s not very in line with Senator Sanders’ stances…

[KAINE]
Ask him a question, he rants, he taunts, he flaunts his YUGE finances!

[HILLARY]
And they say I’m establishment – at least they know I know what that is!

[KAINE]
Clinton, that’s the problem – see, they see Trump as a less mainstream you

[HILLARY]
Enh?

[KAINE]
You need to change course,
A key endorsement might redeem you

[HILLARY]
Who did you have in mind?

[KAINE]
Don’t laugh

[HILLARY]
Who is it?

[KAINE]
He made you rewrite half your platf-

[HILLARY]
Whaaaat

[KAINE]
It might be nice, it might be nice
To get Bernie on your side

[KAINE AND HILLARY]
It might be nice, it might be nice
To get Bernie on your side

[TRUMP]
Think less!

[ENSEMBLE]
Trump!

[TRUMP]
Rile more!

[ENSEMBLE]
Trump!

[TRUMP]
Just let them know who you’re against
not what you’re for!

[ENSEMBLE]
Trump!

[TRUMP]
Call him a dope!

[ENSEMBLE]
Trump!

[TRUMP]
She’s dumb!

[ENSEMBLE]
Trump!

[TRUMP]
But come November, ladies, tell your husbands – vote for Trump!

[DEM VOTER 1]
I wanted Sanders!

[DEM VOTER 2]
Well, he didn’t win the nomination.

[DEM VOTER 3]
And Hillary?

[TWO DEM VOTERS]
In love with banks!

[BERNIE-OR-BUST-ER]
Such an abomination!

[TWO GOP VOTERS]
I like that Donald Trump!

[GOP VOTER 1]
He’s such an awesome businessman!

[GOP VOTER 2]
He tells it like it is…?

[GOP VOTER 3]
He’ll make America great again!!

[BERNIE SUPPORTERS]
Dear Mr. Senator:
your fellow democrats would like to know
how you’ll be voting

[SANDERS]
It’s quiet off stage…

[BERNIE SUPPORTERS]
Dear Mr Senator:
we’re angry you don’t stand a chance,
but who are you promoting?

[SANDERS]
It’s quiet off stage…

[ENSEMBLE]
Hillary or Trump? (Hillary or Trump?)
We know it’s lose-lose!
Hillary or Trump? (Hillary or Trump?)
But if you had to choose!
Dear Mr. Senator:
we’re angry you don’t stand a chance,
but who are you promoting?
But if you had to choose

[SANDERS]
Well, if it isn’t Donald Trump. ‘sup?

[TRUMP]
Mr. Sanders!

[SANDERS]
You’ve created quite a dump, Trump.

[TRUMP]
I’m going state to state!

[SANDERS]
You’re outright agitating!

[TRUMP]
Great!

[SANDERS]
That’s rude

[TRUMP]
Honestly, it gets good ratings.

[SANDERS]
Drumpf –

[TRUMP]
Humph!

[SANDERS]
Is there anything you wouldn’t do?

[TRUMP]
No. I’m chasing every vote
and you know what?

[SANDERS]
What?

[TRUMP]
I’m getting some from you!

[ENSEMBLE OF VOTERS]
If you had to choose
If you had to choose

[KAINE]
It’s a tie!

[ENSEMBLE OF VOTERS]
If you had to choose
If you had to choose

[HILLARY]
It’s up to the delegates!

[ENSEMBLE OF VOTERS]
If you had to choose
If you had to choose

[HILLARY/KAINE]
It’s up to the Senator!

[VOTERS]
If you had to choose
If you had to choose

[KAINE/ENSEMBLE]

Hillary or Trump? (If you had to choose)
Hillary or Trump?

Choose
Choose
Choose!

[SANDERS]
Yo

[ENSEMBLE]
Oh!

[SANDERS]
The people are asking to hear my voice

[ENSEMBLE]
Oh!

[SANDERS]
The country is facing a dangerous choice

[ENSEMBLE]
Oh!

[SANDERS]
And if you were to ask me who I’d promote —

[ENSEMBLE]
Oh!

[SANDERS]
— Hillary has my vote.

[HILLARY/KAINE/ENSEMBLE]
Oh!

[SANDERS]
I have barely agreed with Hillary once

[HILLARY/KAINE/ENSEMBLE]
Oh!

[SANDERS]
We have fought on like seventy five different fronts

[HILLARY/KAINE/ENSEMBLE]
Oh!

[SANDERS]
But when all is said and all is done
Hillary has –

[DEMOCRATS TALKING OVER EACH OTHER]
governing experience!
a law degree! diplomatic experience!
geopolitical sense! bipartisan endorsements!
a very diverse constituency!
patience! compassion!
a history of reaching across the isle! actual plans!
the ability to listen!

[SANDERS]
Hillary has respect.
Trump has none.

[ENSEMBLE]
Oooooooooh

[HILLARY AND KAINE]
Well, I’ll be damned
Well, I’ll be damned

[KAINE]
Sanders is in your boat!

[ENSEMBLE]
Well I’ll be damned
Well I’ll be damned!

[HILLARY]
So?

[KAINE]
Berners, don’t waste your vote!

END HAMILTON METAPHOR HERE

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